✶☽THE ART OF FLIRTING☾✶

flirt |flərt|

verb

   1 [ intrans. ] behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions : it amused him to flirt with her.

• ( flirt with) experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously : a painter who had flirted briefly with Cubism.

• ( flirt with) deliberately expose oneself to (danger or difficulty) : the need of some individuals to flirt with death.

   2 [ trans. ] (of a bird) wave or open and shut (its wings or tail) with a quick flicking motion.

• [ intrans. ] move back and forth with a flicking or fluttering motion : the lark was flirting around the site.

I guess that's kind of cheesy isn't it? To put the definition of the intended topic in the beginning of the post but, it does help me. I've actually never tried to look up the word 'flirt' so, ah, now i know it's to wave or open and shut wings or tail with a quick flicking motion.... That was a bad joke.
In all seriousness, my knowledge on this specific... behaviour... is coming close to nil. I have to admit it's a problem, because anytime I actually fancy someone I would just be in, that's right, the friendzone. Or brozone or familyzone or some modern zoning terms they have these days.

I have been thinking about flirting for some time, maybe because it is interesting to show your affection towards a person without actually saying it out front. I always thought why don't people just be straightforward. Oh hey I want to fuck you. Oh you're cute we should really hang out and I see we have several things in common here's my number text me. Not that I have done any of those things, I have thought about them because well, I have no clue on what flirting is. Importantly, how do you differentiate if someone is flirting or if they are just nicer than other people? It's pretty common for a person to just be really nice and is not attracted to you in some sort of way, and it is also common for people to just be playful with no intention whatsoever, is that also called flirting?
One night I was hanging out in the courtyard with some friends, all I know have some experienced with these things of relationship and dating so I asked, "how do people flirt?" They all look at me like I am a person from another planet and continue to respond the question with a "what? why?" Of course they, or at least some of them thought I asked this because I had the intention to actually flirt with a particular person and find a boyfriend but no that was not the case, I was just very curious to what they had to say. Their answer was and I remember this clearly: "well you talk with the guy and laugh, make jokes, smile." I stare at them blankly and reply "........So like... Every. Other. Conversation?" Then they close the conversation by saying "Well you just know! The way they stare or maybe with the some gestures."
That didn't help me with understanding the concept of flirting at all. Nor how to identify if a person is flirting or just being plain nice. Make jokes, smile and laugh? That's pretty broad isn't? I would hate to be at one point think I am making a friend give the wrong impression. The stare? Like having them stare into your soul or some sh-t like that? Then again some people just stare really intensely to others.

So comes the embarrassing bit, my attempt to flirt. Aha ha haha ha. It's quite sad because, I actually did tried to flirt without having the knowledge on what flirting actually is. So I would say this flirting 'experiment' was a failure and he and I ended talking about sex. By that I mean in a way like a 12 year old boy that just founded what a penis and a vagina is.
Another story, my friend and I were in a sandwich shop. I ordered a sandwich. The guy who works there asked if I wanted a 12 inch or a 6 inch so, being the immature person I am, I burst out laughing and said "a 6 inch is fine, just 6. 6 inch." After my friend and I got our sandwiches, my friend said "dude you were totally flirting with the cashier guy!" And I was not. This got me even more confused. It's easy to say "Oh I was totally flirting with this guy" because you know you have the intention to attract the guy and you yourself would call it flirting but then what a third person would comment "dude... That was not flirting."Honestly, that's how my mind works. It is very very dirty, my mind is in the gutter it's just, very immature.
Another other story, I was in the supermarket and saw a quite attractive guy in a Holy Fuck t-shirt. So like any other internet-based kid I tweeted something along the line "someone's wearing a holy fuck tshirt quick how do you flirt" and the response I remember was to come up to the guy and say "nice t-shirt" which was actually pretty good, but... Then what? Of course I wouldn't have that kind of courage to just go up to a total random stranger and compliment them. So I'm guessing complimenting a stranger would be a form of flirting yes? But what if you're complimenting a friend? Let's say, a person you actually know, would that also be considered as flirting? I have been said to be "one of d4 guyzZzz" and I think it's because I laugh at the sexual immature jokes they usually make because I cannot deny it is funny but still what does THAT mean do I have to stop thinking like everything is sexual and pretend that every time someone says something sexual I would just say "OMG you're such a pervert that's gross!"?

So with that, I'm completely helpless with the art of flirting. I would much like someone to be my flirting guru so apply now on www.fuckigotnolifesoallidoiswriteastupidblogughimjustgonnahavesomepizzanow.com/flirtingguru and send in your CV to the email given. I am actually worried about my lack of knowledge in this particular area because honestly I feel very left behind by not knowing any of these while most of my friends seems to get a hang of it. Maybe it's the pressure of having this so called 'college life' or some sh-t.

P.S. most importantly, does asking if a guy gets morning wood or if they are a virgin or if they have a girlfriend or if they jerk off a form of flirting? If so, then....... hm..... Well anyway, I'll just go on and any time I try to flirt with a guy I'll just tell him the pacman story like the way Scott Pilgrim did. That or by saying this list of various pick up lines I have gathered thanks to television and the internet this afternoon:

1. are you my lawyer because i'm defenceless
2. your mouth says "shields up" but your eyes say "a hull breach is imminent"
3. i would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party
4. i think your clothes are made of kryptonite we've got to get rid of them immediately
5. i find your lack of nudity disturbing
6. resistance is futile
7. someone must have shot you with a phaser set on 'stunning'
8. you be the tree and i'll wrap you like a koala
9. hey i just met you and this is crazy well here's my bedroom let's fuck totally

ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT NOTE THIS IS AN AWESOME SONG THAT I CANNOT STOP LISTENING SO LISTEN AND ENJOY Y'ALL PEACE LOVE AND G@0L.

{I COME FROM THE LAND DOWN UNDER}

It's been almost five months since I moved to Sydney. So far I have encountered some interesting experiences here, I guess it could be more adventurous. To be frank my life is pretty mundane, but having a blog can make it seem more interesting than it actually is... Or make it seem even more mundane. Any who, let's break it down into categories.

UNILODGE

These past few months I've been living in Unilodge Sydney where supposedly students can rent rooms to stay in and the first impression I got from looking inside the building was "well.... At least it's better than living with a home stay family." And it was better because here there are way more interesting people living in the building, most I don't know personally but occasionally see around. My friends and I like to name the people we quite often see, for example the ginger living one the second floor that has a blonde girlfriend we call ginger, or the guy we saw shirtless once we call neun.
A plus side living here is that hanging out with your friends is very easy, you just go to someone's room and chill. I guess that's the best part. The second best part would be the fact that the place is very near a shopping mall (which has supermarkets, shops and most importantly a cinema) and it is near to all the major hang out places my friends and I go to which is the city, newtown and darling harbour. Plus they have great food around which is only 5 minutes away. The downside would be the constant smell of weed or questionable odor along the hallways and how often you see drunk people especially around the weekends. Also the fact that people party up on the roof so loud that you can practically hear the noise from most of the room in building.
Still it's not all too bad, most of the people I have encountered here are nice. Or seemingly nice. Who knows. Maybe they're secretly murderers, highly unlikely but could be a possibility.
Interestingly, my friends and I befriended two people that live in the building I think just because we see them so often. They are pretty cool people; Yusuf. Thomas. If you're reading this, I am talking about you two. You guys are pretty awesome people. I mean Yusuf have like 600 movies with him right now and having three masters he still laughs at the word "testicles" while Thomas who is working on his master thesis is what one call a computer genius with all the programming and computer dilly dally and also share some interest as I including the love for Bob Dylan, Star Wars and Lord of The Rings.
On another note, I bought One Ring. That story goes to another category, maybe.
Overall, I do like living in Unilodge (for now), I cannot wait to get my own place. Cannot. Wait.

FRIENDS

My group of friends are how should I say, a weird bunch. But aren't they all? The three people I spend time with the most are Dolly, Huiyi and Natalie. I practically live with them since everyday after doing all my morning routine I go to their room until the end of the day where I go back to my own room to sleep. They're a nice bunch, we all write notes to each other, buy each other stuff and make up songs together about the boys we fancied. Dolly and I are like twins, we share the same American-based type humor and occasionally put this very American accent we try to pull off. Natalie and I share quite a lot in common, though I am quite intimidated with her very advanced knowledge in maths and chemistry. Huiyi is practically like the mother of the house (or in this case room), we're the same age but she is one of the most mature people I've ever met. When you meet her, you'll know what I mean.
Every time my parents called me they would ask where I am and I would always reply "di rumah tetangga [translation: the neighbor's room]". They both like it that I don't hang out in my own room because apparently, in their words, I am not antisocial anymore like I was in Singapore. Psft. I was never antisocial. That much.

LIFESTYLE

Everything here relatively more expensive, especially if you convert the price to rupiah. Like in Singapore, I still buy a sh-t load of DVDs and go to see the movies a lot in the cinemas. DVDs are somewhat the same price like in Singapore ranging from approximately $10 to $40. The cinema tickets though, student price is $15.50 while in Singapore it is around $7. Though I did just get a couple of free movie tickets so, that's good.
Shopping here is expensive but there are so much more variety than in Singapore and especially Jakarta. I'm sure I'm not the only one when I say I am bored of the same looking young adults with the same styles wearing the same or similar brands. In Sydney, you get more variety. Even the people don't all dress the same, and there are lots who dyed their hair eccentric colors and not get stared at like back home. Seriously though shopping here is much more satisfying than in Singapore or Jakarta. I once bought Rick Astley's first album on vinyl for $2 and a tip top Return of The King DVD for $5. And the amount of vintage stores here, legit vintage stores that does not charge you $50 for a secondhand dress.
The gigs. Oh dear Lord the gigs. It is heaven. The problem? I have no gig buddy. So far I have watched Big Day Out (see previous post), Bombay Bicycle Club and Karen O's production of Stop the Virgens. In the future, I have secured tickets to see The Black Keys and Radiohead, and am thinking of going to Rufus Wainwright, Dark Dark Dark and hopefully Sigur Ros and Beck.

OTHERS

• First day in Sydney, my mother and I were walking near Haymarket and this shirtless guy was in the middle of the street screaming "FUCK YOU. AND FUCK YOU TOO. FUCK YOU ALL. AND FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU TOO" to everyone in sight. It was a nice warm welcome.
• One of my friend borrowed $200, he payed me back in 5 cent coins. You know how heavy a bag full of 5 cent coins is? Very. I looked very foolish on the bus. And when I went to get it changed in the bank, a random lady from across the room turned around and laughed at me.
• The lonely friday nights where I decide to stay home and then usually you can see drunk people fighting from across the street through my window so I just sit there and watch them fight with one another until the police comes.
• Once I just bought the unknown pleasure t-shirt and was very happy with my purchase, later that night as I was wearing the t-shirt and telling my friend of how happy I am a drunk guy stumbles, stopped, look at the tshirt for 5 seconds then look at me while slurring "y-yeeh like joyyy division?" Is that so surprising?
• Went to Melbourne for the weekend and bought One Ring. Now I wear the ring everywhere. I am the ring bearer b-tch.

See? It's not very interesting is it?

Confession: I miss Singapore more than I miss Jakarta.