SO music right? What great things you can hear with your ears. So melodic and so influential.
I dont really know what i'm talking about to honest.
Fuck this I wanna go to bed.
But I wanna write something ok? I wanna write something while intoxicated and read it in the morning and be like "what the fuck is wrong with me just ugh fuck off you're wasting your time."
dont' read this yo're probably wasting your time. And fuck it my laptop doesn't have autocorrect I'm tired of clicking the delete button
My friend told me today that deep fried butter on a stick exist. like who eat that kind of things? Apparently peaopl do, a freakin butter on stick. But no, it's deep fried.
I finished catching up on Supernatural and South Park and House of Cards now I'm just bassicaly done and I don't want to be done because that means I now have to continue on studying which is why I'm in Australia in the first place. I don't like saying "I" a lot let's change the subject into something more objective.
The amygdala, yeah that little thing inside your brain, is said to be Almond-shaped. I don't get it why is it almond-shaped do we all have almond shaped amygdala? why is it almond shaped? Why did I capitalised Almond? But the amygdala is great it's basically a little thing, like tiny tiny part and it control of our emotions and memory. Like, both memory and emotions which is pretty badass. Particular fear, apparently. According to some studies that the left and right amygdala in both parts of your brain control either your pleasant memory/feelings and unpleasant ones. It's like, one side of your brain is evil. Not evil, evil is a pretty strong word. but we're all pretty evil anyway aren't we?
you know what fuck this im going to bed. peace.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
FW: FOALS WEEKEND
#1 28/09/2013
Hawaiian shirts. Denim shorts. Unnecessary hats? Floral shirts. Excited facial. Great hair.
I followed a group of people that matched the categories above, and found myself in front of Enmore Theatre after somewhat being lost in Newtown. This method have helped me several times in finding concert venues when I'm lost, like that time in Singapore when I got lost in Fort Canning Park on my way to see Friendly Fires.
I met up with Vivien and her cutesy car, and spent nearly thirty minutes to find parking. But once parking was sorted, and we weren't too keen too see Alpine, we got gelato instead. But let's skip all those parts.
Not being big fans of Alpine, Vivien and I started the night with a few drinks; aka Jack in a can. Then close to 9.20 the band started. Pretty sure everyone in the crowd was on the verge of having an epileptic seizure from the strobe lights, but since we were standing next to the lighting desk I was mesmerised by the tech guy. Like, how much does he get pay? Does he get free drinks like the band? How long did it take you to record all of those lights? What does that button do? The lights were amazing, by the way. Apart from the strobe lights, I didn't particularly enjoy but the rest of the night it was amazing. Real 'in your face' type of lights.
Also I apologised to her once and I'll do it again, I'm sorry I had to go pee during Total Life Forever Vivien. It was those Jack in them cans.
The setlist for the night?
The setlist for the night?
Prelude
Total Life Forever
Blue Blood
My Number
Providence
Milk & Black Spiders
Spanish Sahara
Red Socks Pugie
Late Night
Inhaler
Encore
FUCKING HUMMER MAN
Two Steps, Twice.
I have to be honest, I don't think I'm as obsessive or fanatic with Foals as I was before. I think it's part of me growing up. So I didn't know they played Hummer the two nights before in Melbourne. I didn't know they have been playing it quite a while in their tour. And it literally just, SWAYED ME AWAY OFF MY FEET (in a realistic way meaning that, I jumped in excitement). Also the fact that I was half-ranting to Vivien before the show how I wished they would play Hummer but I knew they won't because it's been too long and they probably forgot how to play it but THEY DID OK? THEY DID.
So when they started playing that, I simultaneously spilled this woman's drink all over her and stomped her feet. I apologised duh but, that didn't stop her and her friends to give me bitchy death glares. Well fuck you woman, I'm not sorry anymore.
Then during Two Steps, Twice Yannis went to our side of the crowd and literally jumped in front of us. He was, right there. The fangirl in me came back for a split second and pretty sure all I did was screamed because we all know what's coming next. He's going to make his way upstairs to the balcony and jumped. So once he was on the balcony, it seemed he had some doubts. He took his time to find a jumping point and after a while, he gave his guitar to someone, and he jumped. He fucking jumped. And it was just 10/10. When he came back on stage, he was shoeless, shirtless but not guitar-less.
#2 29/09/2013
I heard this show hadn't sold out, so by default I'm assuming the fans in the crowd won't be as wild or dedicated as the ones in the first night.
Maybe it was the area we stood, maybe it was the people, but I had more fun in the second show. Safe to say I don't think I've ever went this 'full-on' in a gig before. Here are the setlist:
Prelude
Total Life Forever
Olympic Airways
My Number
Blue Blood
Providence
Milk & Black Spiders
Spanish Sahara
Red Socks Pugie
Late Night
Electric Bloom
Encore
Inhaler
Two Steps, Twice.
No Hummer but I was happy about it because it seems like it was 'exclusively' for the first Sydney show. But Electric Bloom though, it just made me miss listening to Antidotes. And after listening to their old stuff again I've always wondered what it was like to hear XXXXX live instead of their new Prelude.
I think the fact that more people around us at that night danced, made it more fun. It wasn't as awkward as it was the day before. Like the majority of the people around us were dancing, and we were all tired. Resting for merely 5 seconds before the next song started and we all started jumping around again.
Sadly, during Two Steps, Twice when Yannis once again tried to jumped from the balcony, the security guards wouldn't let him. It was quite funny to see it actually. Very comic, like one of those things you see in cartoons. Like literally he was about to jump, the security guard who was way bigger than him strongly grabbed his arms and shook his head. Yannis smiled, and tried to negotiate but the security guard was firm. Knowing he didn't have any luck Yannis disappeared in the crowd, soon after so did the security guards. Seconds later Yannis reappeared after hoping that he lost the guards in the crowd, he quickly made his way to jump from the balcony but his plan was foiled by the same security guard who took him by his shoulders and literally pulled him back. Pretty sure everyone was smiling and laughing, including the band members and crews. The security guards didn't seem amused though.
Notable crowd members?
Well there was a guy in the wheelchair right in the corner in the front, one of the security guards gave him Jack's drumstick at the end. It was really cool. And then there was this girl after the show we met who looked confused. Turns out she had thrown her bra to the stage during the show, now she wants it back. It was quite funny, especially when she had to ask a security guard and a couple of roadies if they've seen it. They were all laughing too, but at the end she got her grey bra back.
Also at the end of the gig I saw these two girls (they wouldn't be more than 18 or 19 to be honest) sneakily making their way backstage. Like it was really sneaky, you can tell it wasn't their first time. But at the end they failed, so maybe it was their first time. Pretty cool what they did though, I always wanted to do that when I was 14, but I never had the balls to do it.
Vivien is the most notable crowd member for both nights, because she's lovely and I want to thank her for giving the opportunity to get to see Foals on their both shows. Even though she almost killed me—twice, in one day.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
PUB CRAWL MADNESS: THE WORLD'S END REVIEW
It's time for a sad farewell to the last instalment of the oh-so-famous 'Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy'—written by Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, starring Pegg and Nick Frost, along with the copious amount of familiar faces.
It all begin with strawberry (red), as Shaun fights the undead to save his family, friends and relationship during a zombie outbreak. The romzomcom (romantic zombie comedy), Shaun of the Dead, plays a tribute to classic zombie films particularly the works of George A. Romero and Sam Raimi. Then it moved on to vanilla (blue), where an anal-retentive London police officer investigates a series of mysterious deaths in a small town with his newly appointed childish partner. Hot Fuzz, similar to its preceder, plays a form of homage to action—particularly Hollywood—movies like Bad Boys and Point Break. Now, the makers of these two fantastic films have moved on to give the world: mint (green), better known as The World's End coming out to Australian cinemas on August 1st. The story follows five childhood friends (or more fittingly, mates) whom drifted apart after high school graduation and begin to live their own lives. That is until Gary King (Simon Pegg) convene the group to go back to their hometown of Newton Haven and finish a pub crawl that they have designed in High School. Though all things are not as it seems, and The World's End has its own twist and tricks up its sleeves that Wright have tried to keep on the down low as much as possible. The new film brings to light various motives from perpetual adolescence and old grievances to the consolation of life. Since Shaun of the Dead was about getting responsibility and taking control of your life, and Hot Fuzz was about caring about the people in your personal life and not just focussing on the job, The World's End explores both of these themes merging them together. King's (Pegg) journey in taking responsibility and stop living in the past, and his mates' realisation of how important the past was in shaping the present them. And whether there is a possibility to grow up without growing old.
An encapsulation of themes from the first two instalment are expected by fans, and it does not disappoint. Director Edgar Wright, had successfully brought in the old crew to make a fantastically entertaining and bitter ending for audience. Wright's editing niche of the distinctive slam-bang-transitions and subtle humorous pop culture references, brought the essence of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz together. Let's not forget, the iconic fence-jumping scenes. Zombie, crime-action and science fiction: Wright, Pegg and Frost had done the ultimate trilogy of British satirical fun in providing a choppy and sharp-shift fighting scenes different from contemporary Hollywood action films. Seeing Pegg, Frost, Martin Freeman, Rosamund Pike, Paddy Considine and Eddie Marsan kicking arse in fighting alien robots in hopes of finishing 'the golden mile' is as entertaining as it can get. The World's End is more than just an end-of-the-world survival movie, nor it is a bros-reliving-the-past movie like Hot Tub Time Machine. It is definitely a must-see summer flick particular those who have been following Wright, Pegg and Frost's work since Spaced.
8.5/10
NOTE: I may or may not make a post about the Q&A with Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg & Nick Frost that might also include an interview my friend and I did with Edgar Wright. While also telling the story how my friend creeped Nick Frost out in the elevator. Should I?
Thursday, May 16, 2013
|Heads Talking|
song of the week:
Everyone is angry all the time. They're angry at the world, because it's not going the way they are planning. They're angry at an enemy. They're angry at a loved one. They're angry at fictitious scenarios They're angry at this at that at everything. No one and nothing, is capable of being loved by everyone or everything. There is never a unanimous verdict. Yes we all agree genocides are bad yeah? No, there are people out there that thinks genocide is or was necessary. See how opinions clash? Creating what kids? Conflict, that's right. Don't talk about world peace, there can never be world peace. At least not in this universe, not the way people are behaving and thinking now. It's literally impossible. But then there are others who believe, that it's not impossible but just improbable. That maybe the case yes, and then some close-minded scholars would shout at them "how can you be so foolish and naive?!" with a booming English voice. Why? I don't know that's how I imagine a scenario would happen, if this blog would ever become a short video which is never.
So what am I saying? I don't know, I'm merely pointing out the obvious that most people seem to forget. That literally every fucking human being in this damned world has a fucking opinion. Sorry for the swears, but it really shows my anger doesn't it? Swearing shows anger, and I'm angry because so many fucking assholes forget this. Oh or maybe not forget, just put aside or disregard this. Well surely it is more time efficient, and more productive because you can never hear every opinion of every person? If you're the president or prime minister of [whatever country you choose], and your goal is to help 'the people' live better etc you need to hear their opinions yes? In terms of what do the people want, what do the people need, the ideas of the people to make this country great. Of course, but surely being someone up so high and mighty with so much power invested in you, you just can't listen to every opinion. Then let's take it to a smaller scale, to a classroom! Yes classrooms are perfect examples! You know why? Because often enough, whether you're in kindergarten or university, the same shit happens every fucking time. What shit? Well the shit that students and teachers (maybe both maybe just one of them) would not take an opinion into account. Let's face it, we all want to speak up whether we're angry about something or to show our love for something.
I've always been told from a young age to speak your mind up, to contribute in class/group activities, to have a say in everything. That's good, we do need to speak up, we do need to contribute, because everyone has a say in something don't they? Often though, these people that have so much things to say, have little opportunity to do it. Why? There are many factors to it, but here are what I think, the main ones:
• They would often be overshadowed by the extroverted talkative know-it-alls
• Social anxiety
• Language barriers
Starting with numero uno. I shouldn't have used the word know-it-all because that seems judgmental, because often I applaud these people. They're not scared to speak up, they speak their opinions out and let the world know in lectures because why not share things they know to contribute to the larger picture? But compare these people, to those stay quiet in class, they seem to be like a know-it-all. Of course they probably not, it's not their fault they're so active in class. In fact, it's an admirable thing! Though I do have to add that this does not apply to everyone, number one also counts as those irritating know-it-alls that think they do know everything and would just keep on talking because they find themselves more superior to others hence their opinions matter more. I call, bullshit. These two types have one common ground, that they tend to overshadow others. Now, I was a quiet kid as a child because of this. Wow those people seem so confident, I can never be as confident as they are because I'm not as pretty, I'm not as thin, I'm not as rich, I'm not as buff, I'm not as outspoken, I'm not as mature, I'm not as experienced or I'm not as successful. My grades are not as good, and my peer relationships sucks. Well that's what happens. And often these people who are used to speaking up and shit are so used to be the only voice of the class, that they often cut people off? Does anyone notice this? I mean come on, there goes a quiet little kid that rarely talks trying to say something and then BAM there you are with your loud voice so everyone can hear cutting that kid off. Is that really fair?
Then we have numero dos. It's like when you're in class, the teacher asked a general question to everyone. Everyone is quiet, but you instantly know the answer. The teacher kept eyeing everyone in class studying their facial expressions whilst the students look down avoiding eye contact. A student yelled out an answer, the teacher applaud at the student's effort but it's the wrong answer. You slap yourself mentally, damn it [your name] get a hold of yourself you know the fucking answer just say it, just say it out loud. Now you're thinking of speaking up, but your heart begins to race you can feel it. Your hand/leg shakes, you look down confused and try to control your breathing so it will go unnoticed to the person sitting next to you. Ah too late you blew your chance to impress the teacher because he moved on to the next question. You suck. Now time for you to regret this moment for the next 5 years.
And now number tres, oh number three yes. I'm not just talking for those who have English as a second language if you happen to study in a English-speaking country. This is just in general, maybe you're an American living in China or a Chinese living in America, bottom line you're not very good at this language. It's also important to point out this doesn't have to be the case, it could also just be your language skills. Moving on, we certainly see people that have the ability to speak without pauses or "Err" and "Um.." in awe, especially if they use difficult vocabulary. Oh wait sorry, I meant those who are prone to use intricate terminologies formulating an astute semblance of one self. Did that even make any sense? I got to be honest with you, I used a thesaurus for the last sentence. But any who, imagine if you have to argue or even worse, go on a debate, with this type of person. They throw in their hard-to-understand language at you, and as you try to keep a calm expression in your head you're going all, "bitch just said whaaaaa?" So again imagine in class, one of your classmate are very active in discussions and her vocabulary is flawless. Her answers would always be so cohesive and straight to the point while she uses correct terminologies. "Who proposed the theory of gravitation?" A teacher would ask. A kid would answer, "Isaac Newton in 1687 after he published Principia which hypothesizes the inverse-square law of universal gravitation!" and you, yes you, all nervous and intimidated by those other kids, speak up and answer "Newton because, of that apple that fell from that tree. Right?"
Am I exaggerating in these scenarios? Perhaps, but think about it. I get intimidated by my classmates often enough, since the first day my mother put me in pre-school, I would just rarely speak. And it's not like teachers don't encourage students to speak up believe me they do, and we often just roll our eyes with a bitch face saying "leave me alone please." It just makes me angry and sad at the same time, that so many people don't get a say in something because other people (both intentionally and unintentionally) think that their opinions are better than most. Maybe that's the case sometimes, for example: Brian Cox's thoughts on the theory of relativity is far more important than the thoughts of an 18 year old schoolgirl getting Cs in physics. But certainly this does not apply in classroom discussions, right? We're floating on the same boat here, we're all studying here, maybe you do have more experiences than I and maybe you are more educated and clever and I'm sorry I don't understand most of your Shakespearian references, or process words as quickly as you do but don't cut me off when I am trying to say something. And try to give other people a chance to talk too, we get you're passionate and you have so many things to say but give other chances to speak up as well there! And don't you dare cut them off or 'finish their sentence' without a louder voice. Capiche?
Rabbit, out.
And in that moment, I was sure I was Chris Pine. A less successful and handsome and pretty and well-groomed and talented version of Chris Pine. With no testicles. And less flawless hair. Scratch that Chris Pine and I have nothing in common apart from our similar first names.
Everyone is angry all the time. They're angry at the world, because it's not going the way they are planning. They're angry at an enemy. They're angry at a loved one. They're angry at fictitious scenarios They're angry at this at that at everything. No one and nothing, is capable of being loved by everyone or everything. There is never a unanimous verdict. Yes we all agree genocides are bad yeah? No, there are people out there that thinks genocide is or was necessary. See how opinions clash? Creating what kids? Conflict, that's right. Don't talk about world peace, there can never be world peace. At least not in this universe, not the way people are behaving and thinking now. It's literally impossible. But then there are others who believe, that it's not impossible but just improbable. That maybe the case yes, and then some close-minded scholars would shout at them "how can you be so foolish and naive?!" with a booming English voice. Why? I don't know that's how I imagine a scenario would happen, if this blog would ever become a short video which is never.
So what am I saying? I don't know, I'm merely pointing out the obvious that most people seem to forget. That literally every fucking human being in this damned world has a fucking opinion. Sorry for the swears, but it really shows my anger doesn't it? Swearing shows anger, and I'm angry because so many fucking assholes forget this. Oh or maybe not forget, just put aside or disregard this. Well surely it is more time efficient, and more productive because you can never hear every opinion of every person? If you're the president or prime minister of [whatever country you choose], and your goal is to help 'the people' live better etc you need to hear their opinions yes? In terms of what do the people want, what do the people need, the ideas of the people to make this country great. Of course, but surely being someone up so high and mighty with so much power invested in you, you just can't listen to every opinion. Then let's take it to a smaller scale, to a classroom! Yes classrooms are perfect examples! You know why? Because often enough, whether you're in kindergarten or university, the same shit happens every fucking time. What shit? Well the shit that students and teachers (maybe both maybe just one of them) would not take an opinion into account. Let's face it, we all want to speak up whether we're angry about something or to show our love for something.
I've always been told from a young age to speak your mind up, to contribute in class/group activities, to have a say in everything. That's good, we do need to speak up, we do need to contribute, because everyone has a say in something don't they? Often though, these people that have so much things to say, have little opportunity to do it. Why? There are many factors to it, but here are what I think, the main ones:
• They would often be overshadowed by the extroverted talkative know-it-alls
• Social anxiety
• Language barriers
Starting with numero uno. I shouldn't have used the word know-it-all because that seems judgmental, because often I applaud these people. They're not scared to speak up, they speak their opinions out and let the world know in lectures because why not share things they know to contribute to the larger picture? But compare these people, to those stay quiet in class, they seem to be like a know-it-all. Of course they probably not, it's not their fault they're so active in class. In fact, it's an admirable thing! Though I do have to add that this does not apply to everyone, number one also counts as those irritating know-it-alls that think they do know everything and would just keep on talking because they find themselves more superior to others hence their opinions matter more. I call, bullshit. These two types have one common ground, that they tend to overshadow others. Now, I was a quiet kid as a child because of this. Wow those people seem so confident, I can never be as confident as they are because I'm not as pretty, I'm not as thin, I'm not as rich, I'm not as buff, I'm not as outspoken, I'm not as mature, I'm not as experienced or I'm not as successful. My grades are not as good, and my peer relationships sucks. Well that's what happens. And often these people who are used to speaking up and shit are so used to be the only voice of the class, that they often cut people off? Does anyone notice this? I mean come on, there goes a quiet little kid that rarely talks trying to say something and then BAM there you are with your loud voice so everyone can hear cutting that kid off. Is that really fair?
Then we have numero dos. It's like when you're in class, the teacher asked a general question to everyone. Everyone is quiet, but you instantly know the answer. The teacher kept eyeing everyone in class studying their facial expressions whilst the students look down avoiding eye contact. A student yelled out an answer, the teacher applaud at the student's effort but it's the wrong answer. You slap yourself mentally, damn it [your name] get a hold of yourself you know the fucking answer just say it, just say it out loud. Now you're thinking of speaking up, but your heart begins to race you can feel it. Your hand/leg shakes, you look down confused and try to control your breathing so it will go unnoticed to the person sitting next to you. Ah too late you blew your chance to impress the teacher because he moved on to the next question. You suck. Now time for you to regret this moment for the next 5 years.
And now number tres, oh number three yes. I'm not just talking for those who have English as a second language if you happen to study in a English-speaking country. This is just in general, maybe you're an American living in China or a Chinese living in America, bottom line you're not very good at this language. It's also important to point out this doesn't have to be the case, it could also just be your language skills. Moving on, we certainly see people that have the ability to speak without pauses or "Err" and "Um.." in awe, especially if they use difficult vocabulary. Oh wait sorry, I meant those who are prone to use intricate terminologies formulating an astute semblance of one self. Did that even make any sense? I got to be honest with you, I used a thesaurus for the last sentence. But any who, imagine if you have to argue or even worse, go on a debate, with this type of person. They throw in their hard-to-understand language at you, and as you try to keep a calm expression in your head you're going all, "bitch just said whaaaaa?" So again imagine in class, one of your classmate are very active in discussions and her vocabulary is flawless. Her answers would always be so cohesive and straight to the point while she uses correct terminologies. "Who proposed the theory of gravitation?" A teacher would ask. A kid would answer, "Isaac Newton in 1687 after he published Principia which hypothesizes the inverse-square law of universal gravitation!" and you, yes you, all nervous and intimidated by those other kids, speak up and answer "Newton because, of that apple that fell from that tree. Right?"
Am I exaggerating in these scenarios? Perhaps, but think about it. I get intimidated by my classmates often enough, since the first day my mother put me in pre-school, I would just rarely speak. And it's not like teachers don't encourage students to speak up believe me they do, and we often just roll our eyes with a bitch face saying "leave me alone please." It just makes me angry and sad at the same time, that so many people don't get a say in something because other people (both intentionally and unintentionally) think that their opinions are better than most. Maybe that's the case sometimes, for example: Brian Cox's thoughts on the theory of relativity is far more important than the thoughts of an 18 year old schoolgirl getting Cs in physics. But certainly this does not apply in classroom discussions, right? We're floating on the same boat here, we're all studying here, maybe you do have more experiences than I and maybe you are more educated and clever and I'm sorry I don't understand most of your Shakespearian references, or process words as quickly as you do but don't cut me off when I am trying to say something. And try to give other people a chance to talk too, we get you're passionate and you have so many things to say but give other chances to speak up as well there! And don't you dare cut them off or 'finish their sentence' without a louder voice. Capiche?
Rabbit, out.
Friday, April 19, 2013
^^HERE'S TO LIVING LIFE MISERABLE^^
"Death is not the end" Nick Cave said. Is there an 'end' though? Some may believe there is; that is when we die that's it. Christians believe that our bodies would end but not our soul, I have to consult to my family's head evangelist but from my interpretation is that when we die we either have our souls get tortured in hell or be at peace in heaven therefore there is no end. Hinduism believe in reincarnation, our souls will be pass to a new body in the next life, depending on your actions in the present life meaning there is no end either. It's unsettling to think about, because let's face it we are all tired. But I don't want to get philosophical so let's talk about our present lives.
The average life expectancy today is approximately 67.2 years from a study conducted in 2010 but of course it all depends on where you live, lifestyle and physical health in general (Or luck). The human brain would be fully developed generally on average when you're 20-21, and after that you are considered an 'adult' therefore there are a whole load of expectations society expects from you: getting a job, find the love of your life, contribute something to humanity, be a part of the working community as a whole to name a few. I still consider myself as a not fully-developed adolescent at the age of 18. Why? My parents still support me financially and academia is my main priority. Like most students, thinking about the future scare the shit out of me with endless worst case 'what-if' scenarios playing in my head 24/7. Statistically speaking we students cannot all make it to find our dream job, we would leave our parents disappointed and probably won't be entirely happy. Out of six billion people in this planet only a handful is living the dream and usually that feeling is only momentary. I realised no one is truly happy, but most of the things we do whether they are long term or short, we do for happiness. We see those we love happy and we become happy, we get exceptional grades and a good job we become happy, we buy a product we've been desiring we become happy. But it doesn't last long and it becomes a cycle. Not happy --> happy for a while --> not happy again. That is until 'the end.'We have to do this cycle for 60+ years, that is a damn long time. I don't know how The Doctor do it, some would think he should be clinically depressed after all he has been through, but then again he is a fictional character. What if we're all fictional characters with a puppet master arranging our destinies. Like all stories, there are some who succeed and those who don't; there are bad guys and good guys; there are extras in scenes that would only have 2 seconds of screen time.
But C, we have to think positively to succeed in life! It's kind of hard to think positive when there are so much despair in reality, and thinking positively for myself would always in a shattering disappointment. Does this mean i don't believe in myself? Most probable yes, but I believe in others. I believe B would succeed splendidly in her life, become an actress like she always wanted to with the love of her life by her side. I believe N would achieve many things in her future, acquiring her dream job and being fully content for the rest of her lives. I believe K will achieve many great things in his creative works. I believe R will live the rest of her life the fuck she wants to and make a full of life for herself. I believe my sisters will achieve greater things than I would in my entire life.
And you know what? We all live in fear. Of everything, constantly. Fear of death. Fear of failing. Fear of safety. Fear of terrorist attacks. Fear of violence. I have just been reading culture and religious conflicts in Indonesia (which is, way more than I originally thought) and conclude that you can't really do anything to change anyone even though some people believe that using violent forces is an answer to it. I mean there will always be conflict of interest isn't there? If the perfect human being, a saint as you can say, becomes president, there would be a group of people that would not agree. Again, this is a cycle. A cycle within a cycle. Everybody wants to rule the world, I guess world peace is just a theory right? On a lighter note, let's take a look on our daily lives. We also live in fear regularly don't we? Fear of social rejection, fear of being ugly, fear of getting fat. Think of advertisements you see that tells you to "take this vitamin pills to strengthen your bone" doesn't that induce fear that if you don't take these pills, you would become 'unhealthy'? "Use this brand and make your teeth whiter and cleaner, 9 out of 10 Australian dentists approve! *insert a scene of an attractive man/woman smiling*" = inducing fear that if you don't use this, you would not have white and clean teeth therefore become ugly and disgusting.
Living is a curious thing, we've been told at a young age that we could achieve anything we want, to be anything we want to be which is true but most people lost sight of this as they grow older and reality struct them hard on their faces. 18 years is long, a lifetime for some, but barely half a life for most. Think of your grandparents who died at an old age, they have lived through a lot of things. Wars, social change, shifts in style; compare the world now and when they were 18, it's a whole new world. If you play the sims, you realise there is no end. We are like sims. We have likes and dislikes, but in the game our aspirations are much clearer than the real word, and we don't have testingcheatsenabled code we can use in our lives. Heck most students in high school don't know what they want to be when they grow old, the thought of it scare them hence why most would just prefer to live in the moment. Carpe diem and YOLO right kids?
music of the week:
The average life expectancy today is approximately 67.2 years from a study conducted in 2010 but of course it all depends on where you live, lifestyle and physical health in general (Or luck). The human brain would be fully developed generally on average when you're 20-21, and after that you are considered an 'adult' therefore there are a whole load of expectations society expects from you: getting a job, find the love of your life, contribute something to humanity, be a part of the working community as a whole to name a few. I still consider myself as a not fully-developed adolescent at the age of 18. Why? My parents still support me financially and academia is my main priority. Like most students, thinking about the future scare the shit out of me with endless worst case 'what-if' scenarios playing in my head 24/7. Statistically speaking we students cannot all make it to find our dream job, we would leave our parents disappointed and probably won't be entirely happy. Out of six billion people in this planet only a handful is living the dream and usually that feeling is only momentary. I realised no one is truly happy, but most of the things we do whether they are long term or short, we do for happiness. We see those we love happy and we become happy, we get exceptional grades and a good job we become happy, we buy a product we've been desiring we become happy. But it doesn't last long and it becomes a cycle. Not happy --> happy for a while --> not happy again. That is until 'the end.'We have to do this cycle for 60+ years, that is a damn long time. I don't know how The Doctor do it, some would think he should be clinically depressed after all he has been through, but then again he is a fictional character. What if we're all fictional characters with a puppet master arranging our destinies. Like all stories, there are some who succeed and those who don't; there are bad guys and good guys; there are extras in scenes that would only have 2 seconds of screen time.
But C, we have to think positively to succeed in life! It's kind of hard to think positive when there are so much despair in reality, and thinking positively for myself would always in a shattering disappointment. Does this mean i don't believe in myself? Most probable yes, but I believe in others. I believe B would succeed splendidly in her life, become an actress like she always wanted to with the love of her life by her side. I believe N would achieve many things in her future, acquiring her dream job and being fully content for the rest of her lives. I believe K will achieve many great things in his creative works. I believe R will live the rest of her life the fuck she wants to and make a full of life for herself. I believe my sisters will achieve greater things than I would in my entire life.
And you know what? We all live in fear. Of everything, constantly. Fear of death. Fear of failing. Fear of safety. Fear of terrorist attacks. Fear of violence. I have just been reading culture and religious conflicts in Indonesia (which is, way more than I originally thought) and conclude that you can't really do anything to change anyone even though some people believe that using violent forces is an answer to it. I mean there will always be conflict of interest isn't there? If the perfect human being, a saint as you can say, becomes president, there would be a group of people that would not agree. Again, this is a cycle. A cycle within a cycle. Everybody wants to rule the world, I guess world peace is just a theory right? On a lighter note, let's take a look on our daily lives. We also live in fear regularly don't we? Fear of social rejection, fear of being ugly, fear of getting fat. Think of advertisements you see that tells you to "take this vitamin pills to strengthen your bone" doesn't that induce fear that if you don't take these pills, you would become 'unhealthy'? "Use this brand and make your teeth whiter and cleaner, 9 out of 10 Australian dentists approve! *insert a scene of an attractive man/woman smiling*" = inducing fear that if you don't use this, you would not have white and clean teeth therefore become ugly and disgusting.
Living is a curious thing, we've been told at a young age that we could achieve anything we want, to be anything we want to be which is true but most people lost sight of this as they grow older and reality struct them hard on their faces. 18 years is long, a lifetime for some, but barely half a life for most. Think of your grandparents who died at an old age, they have lived through a lot of things. Wars, social change, shifts in style; compare the world now and when they were 18, it's a whole new world. If you play the sims, you realise there is no end. We are like sims. We have likes and dislikes, but in the game our aspirations are much clearer than the real word, and we don't have testingcheatsenabled code we can use in our lives. Heck most students in high school don't know what they want to be when they grow old, the thought of it scare them hence why most would just prefer to live in the moment. Carpe diem and YOLO right kids?
music of the week:
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
#THIRD-WHEELS#
Looking back, I realized I have third wheel for possibly most of my close friends, and funnily I have third wheel in the 3 countries I have lived in: Indonesia, Singapore and Australia. I found it fascinating (more like depressing) that even after moving away twice I still had the ability to become the third wheel but alas, maybe being a third wheel was just meant to be. Maybe I was born to be a third wheeler. Maybe my duty in life, my 'dharma' as one might say, is to forever be a third wheeler. Hopefully not.
To make things clear, it's not that I am complaining about being a third wheel or have a great dislike of being one because that's not the case at all. On the contrary, I am usually good friends with the two other parties (who are the couples) so the three of us would not be as uncomfortable. However, I'm not sure if they (these couples I have third wheeled for) realize how awkward it is to be in the third wheel position sometimes. I know most couples try to make the situation or outing as less awkward as it can be for the third wheel, surely and hopefully none of them had deliberately ignore the third wheel the whole time; they all try to have a good time. This simply does not work in some cases. It is inevitable no matter how hard you try it. Let's have a scenario:
Leslie and Mark are dating. They are both very good friends with Jennifer whom they hang out a lot with during the weekends. So Leslie and Mark invited Jennifer out to the city on the Saturday. In my opinion there are only 4 possible ways this can end up.
- Leslie, Mark and Jennifer all had a wonderful time. In some moments Leslie and Mark would do what couples generally do such as holding hands and sharing a kiss or two which is perfectly understandable and Jennifer understands too even though at times it does make the situation a bit awkward or uncomfortable for Jennifer. People on the streets would easily point the odd one out.
- Leslie and Mark, knowing Jennifer would be joining them, decides their best not to act so 'couple-y' around Jennifer on Saturday which makes things awkward for everyone. Jennifer would be confused to whether why they are not acting as they should be. Leslie/Mark would probably have an awkward moment when Jennifer and their other partner talk more than the couple themselves. There would always be one person in the group that feels left behind.
- Jennifer had a horrible time whilst Leslie and Mark were blinded by their own love towards one another and complete ignored Jennifer's presence.
- Before the three even gone out of their houses an UFO hovers above Earth and an unexpected alien invasion occurs which by default ruined their plans of going out to the city.
These days, being a third wheel just makes me feel (pardon my french) fucking shitty. You know how tiresome it is to have the thought that if in the unlikeliness of a catastrophic event, the two lovebirds would save one another undoubtedly. To make it more simple, it's like in primary school when there are three friends and the teacher tells us to choose a partner you would be the one that would always gets left out. I have experienced the series of head turns with the apologetic "Sorry, but I'm with her/him" from various people. You paddle your own canoe fuckers [this was from a book, I don't remember which book but it made sense].
Another thing I am curious about is if couples realize how they can unintentionally make us third wheelers feel super shitty.
So long story short (if y'all were too lazy to read the rest of the post), after years of being a third wheel in hang outs, parties, cinemas and even graduation, being a third wheel makes you feel like shit.
Now go make out with your boyfriend/girlfriend. If you don't have one yet, you will. Use protection. And I'll probably third wheel with you guys too.
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