^^HERE'S TO LIVING LIFE MISERABLE^^

"Death is not the end" Nick Cave said. Is there an 'end' though? Some may believe there is; that is when we die that's it. Christians believe that our bodies would end but not our soul, I have to consult to my family's head evangelist but from my interpretation is that when we die we either have our souls get tortured in hell or be at peace in heaven therefore there is no end. Hinduism believe in reincarnation, our souls will be pass to a new body in the next life, depending on your actions in the present life meaning there is no end either. It's unsettling to think about, because let's face it we are all tired. But I don't want to get philosophical so let's talk about our present lives.

The average life expectancy today is approximately 67.2 years from a study conducted in 2010 but of course it all depends on where you live, lifestyle and physical health in general (Or luck). The human brain would be fully developed generally on average when you're 20-21, and after that you are considered an 'adult' therefore there are a whole load of expectations society expects from you: getting a job, find the love of your life, contribute something to humanity, be a part of the working community as a whole to name a few. I still consider myself as a not fully-developed adolescent at the age of 18. Why? My parents still support me financially and academia is my main priority. Like most students, thinking about the future scare the shit out of me with endless worst case 'what-if' scenarios playing in my head 24/7. Statistically speaking we students cannot all make it to find our dream job, we would leave our parents disappointed and probably won't be entirely happy. Out of six billion people in this planet only a handful is living the dream and usually that feeling is only momentary. I realised no one is truly happy, but most of the things we do whether they are long term or short, we do for happiness. We see those we love happy and we become happy, we get exceptional grades and a good job we become happy, we buy a product we've been desiring we become happy. But it doesn't last long and it becomes a cycle. Not happy --> happy for a while --> not happy again. That is until 'the end.'We have to do this cycle for 60+ years, that is a damn long time. I don't know how The Doctor do it, some would think he should be clinically depressed after all he has been through, but then again he is a fictional character. What if we're all fictional characters with a puppet master arranging our destinies. Like all stories, there are some who succeed and those who don't; there are bad guys and good guys; there are extras in scenes that would only have 2 seconds of screen time.
But C, we have to think positively to succeed in life! It's kind of hard to think positive when there are so much despair in reality, and thinking positively for myself would always in a shattering disappointment. Does this mean i don't believe in myself? Most probable yes, but I believe in others. I believe B would succeed splendidly in her life, become an actress like she always wanted to with the love of her life by her side. I believe N would achieve many things in her future, acquiring her dream job and being fully content for the rest of her lives. I believe K will achieve many great things in his creative works. I believe R will live the rest of her life the fuck she wants to and make a full of life for herself. I believe my sisters will achieve greater things than I would in my entire life.

And you know what? We all live in fear. Of everything, constantly. Fear of death. Fear of failing. Fear of safety. Fear of terrorist attacks. Fear of violence. I have just been reading culture and religious conflicts in Indonesia (which is, way more than I originally thought) and conclude that you can't really do anything to change anyone even though some people believe that using violent forces is an answer to it. I mean there will always be conflict of interest isn't there? If the perfect human being, a saint as you can say, becomes president, there would be a group of people that would not agree. Again, this is a cycle. A cycle within a cycle. Everybody wants to rule the world, I guess world peace is just a theory right? On a lighter note, let's take a look on our daily lives. We also live in fear regularly don't we? Fear of social rejection, fear of being ugly, fear of getting fat. Think of advertisements you see that tells you to "take this vitamin pills to strengthen your bone" doesn't that induce fear that if you don't take these pills, you would become 'unhealthy'? "Use this brand and make your teeth whiter and cleaner, 9 out of 10 Australian dentists approve! *insert a scene of an attractive man/woman smiling*" = inducing fear that if you don't use this, you would not have white and clean teeth therefore become ugly and disgusting.

Living is a curious thing, we've been told at a young age that we could achieve anything we want, to be anything we want to be which is true but most people lost sight of this as they grow older and reality struct them hard on their faces. 18 years is long, a lifetime for some, but barely half a life for most. Think of your grandparents who died at an old age, they have lived through a lot of things. Wars, social change, shifts in style; compare the world now and when they were 18, it's a whole new world. If you play the sims, you realise there is no end. We are like sims. We have likes and dislikes, but in the game our aspirations are much clearer than the real word, and we don't have testingcheatsenabled code we can use in our lives. Heck most students in high school don't know what they want to be when they grow old, the thought of it scare them hence why most would just prefer to live in the moment. Carpe diem and YOLO right kids?



music of the week:

 

#THIRD-WHEELS#

I've been a member of the third wheel society since middle school when one of my good friend was in a relationship, this was her first (to my knowledge) boyfriend and I remember her telling me that she was nervous on having their first date so she asked me to come along to stop any possible awkward situations that might occur. Good for them, I don't think there were any. I had a fun time too, however I didn't realize at that time that it would be the start of my job as the designated third wheel.

Looking back, I realized I have third wheel for possibly most of my close friends, and funnily I have third wheel in the 3 countries I have lived in: Indonesia, Singapore and Australia. I found it fascinating (more like depressing) that even after moving away twice I still had the ability to become the third wheel but alas, maybe being a third wheel was just meant to be. Maybe I was born to be a third wheeler. Maybe my duty in life, my 'dharma' as one might say, is to forever be a third wheeler. Hopefully not.
To make things clear, it's not that I am complaining about being a third wheel or have a great dislike of being one because that's not the case at all. On the contrary, I am usually good friends with the two other parties (who are the couples) so the three of us would not be as uncomfortable. However, I'm not sure if they (these couples I have third wheeled for) realize how awkward it is to be in the third wheel position sometimes. I know most couples try to make the situation or outing as less awkward as it can be for the third wheel, surely and hopefully none of them had deliberately ignore the third wheel the whole time; they all try to have a good time. This simply does not work in some cases. It is inevitable no matter how hard you try it. Let's have a scenario:

Leslie and Mark are dating. They are both very good friends with Jennifer whom they hang out a lot with during the weekends. So Leslie and Mark invited Jennifer out to the city on the Saturday. In my opinion there are only 4 possible ways this can end up.

1. Leslie, Mark and Jennifer all had a wonderful time. In some moments Leslie and Mark would do what couples generally do such as holding hands and sharing a kiss or two which is perfectly understandable and Jennifer understands too even though at times it does make the situation a bit awkward or uncomfortable for Jennifer. People on the streets would easily point the odd one out.
2. Leslie and Mark, knowing Jennifer would be joining them, decides their best not to act so 'couple-y' around Jennifer on Saturday which makes things awkward for everyone. Jennifer would be confused to whether why they are not acting as they should be. Leslie/Mark would probably have an awkward moment when Jennifer and their other partner talk more than the couple themselves. There would always be one person in the group that feels left behind.
3. Jennifer had a horrible time whilst Leslie and Mark were blinded by their own love towards one another and complete ignored Jennifer's presence.
4. Before the three even gone out of their houses an UFO hovers above Earth and an unexpected alien invasion occurs which by default ruined their plans of going out to the city.

What I am curious about, is how different people react to third wheeling. Personally I'm getting sick of third wheeling, the many times I had been a third wheeling is now uncountable. But then again this might also be just the PMS talking. Either way, I don't want to third wheel anymore. In most cases if I can avoid to be a third wheel, I shall avoid it. No offense to anyone it's just, I'm tired. Nothing personal. Fifth wheeling is also out of the question.
These days, being a third wheel just makes me feel (pardon my french) fucking shitty. You know how tiresome it is to have the thought that if in the unlikeliness of a catastrophic event, the two lovebirds would save one another undoubtedly. To make it more simple, it's like in primary school when there are three friends and the teacher tells us to choose a partner you would be the one that would always gets left out. I have experienced the series of head turns with the apologetic "Sorry, but I'm with her/him" from various people. You paddle your own canoe fuckers [this was from a book, I don't remember which book but it made sense].
Another thing I am curious about is if couples realize how they can unintentionally make us third wheelers feel super shitty.

So long story short (if y'all were too lazy to read the rest of the post), after years of being a third wheel in hang outs, parties, cinemas and even graduation, being a third wheel makes you feel like shit.

Now go make out with your boyfriend/girlfriend. If you don't have one yet, you will. Use protection. And I'll probably third wheel with you guys too.

⸭THE BLACK KEYS LIVE 22 OCT 2012⸭

22 October 2012 - Sydney Entertainment Centre

SETLIST:

1. Howlin' For You
2. Next Girl
3. Run Right Back
4. Same Old Thing
5. Dead and Gone
6. Gold on the Ceiling
7. Thickfreakness
8. Girl is on My Mind
9. Your Touch
10. Little Black Submarines
11. Money Maker
12. Strange Times
13. Sinister Kid
14. Nova Baby
15. Ten Cent Pistol
16. She's Long Gone
17. Tighten' Up
18. Lonely Boy

 Encore

•  Everlasting Light
• I Got Mine

I remember I bought my Black Keys tickets from Ticketmaster on the day it first went on sale to the public. I bought two tickets, even though I didn't have anyone to go with, but past-me thought "I'll find someone to go with, eventually."
So on the day, I went to the gig with Natalie. We came there quite early, well it wasn't that early but I was surprised by the amount of people that were already in the venue which is... Not very many. So then we decided to go to the merch stall where I kept contemplating with Natalie which shirt I should get.

"I do like the white one, I'll get the white one... But the black one is actually pretty cool too and I wear black more anyway, maybe I should get the black one. Oh right you told me not to buy anymore black clothes ok I'll buy the white... but the white is more expensive... Ok whatever white is cooler too. Ugh the black one is really cool hm maybe the black one, yeah I'll wear the black one more. Omg we're closing in we're in the front of the line I have to decide now oh crap errr ok black. NO ok i'm fix on white. White it is then. Yes white. But the black one....."

That went on for 5-10 minutes, I don't know how Natalie put up with me but I'm glad she did because as she payed for our shirts she said "Someone's birthday is coming up soon" and handed me the black shirt after I bought the white shirt so now I have TWO BLACK KEYS SHIRT Y'ALL. Forever grateful to Natalie, on the spot my mouth were wide open and I immediately hugged her which made the merch guy laugh.
Happy with the shirts I now have, we went inside the venue and sat down because it might take a while. It did take a while, and very slowly people begin to come in. I remember at one point around 8:14pm, everyone who was sitting down just stood up in unison and ran towards the very front of the crowd which was weird because nothing was going on at that time. But both of us joined in the crowd anyway. Not long after, the opening band came on stage; Royal Headache.

I got to admit their name is pretty cool, I tried listening to one or two songs on youtube before we went to the concert. But I didn't expect them to be so, I honestly don't know any words to describe them.
Songs? Not really my cup of tea. Heavy generic guitar riffs, fast paced recycled drum beats, groovy bass trips and really nice vocals. Check them out, you might like them.
Style? This part confused me the most, because I don't know what style they are. You know when you just put bands into genre, like the Black Keys is a blues-rock band. But with Royal Headache, I'm not sure, because their stage presence was very different from what their songs sound like, at least for me it was.
The thing that particularly bothered (not necessarily bothered, more to, mind-boggling) me the most is the lead singer's behaviour. Firstly, he was wearing an oversize shirt and baggy pants while letting his long hair flow around his shoulders. Appearance doesn't matter I know, it actually doesn't, but then with that look and with him pacing back and forth the stage plus holding his mic up high, he looks like those singers from a screamo band. Or a metal band. To be quite honest. When he lifted that mic I thought he was about to scream or sing in those sort of grunge tone that only Darth Vader can understand but no, his voice was very choir-like. His voice was good, you don't really expect him to sing like that with that style, it was just.... An interesting sight to see. Definitely something new, but still not my cup of tea.
Speaking of tea let me make myself some tea first.
Okay tea's ready, back to bloggin'.

As we all anticipate for the Black Keys to come on stage, roadies and backstage crews and security guards set up the stage. Interestingly, some of the roadies are dressed very nicely. By nice I mean in a full on suit. Stay classy roadies.
Alas The Black Keys came on stage and the crowd went wild. The show was pretty much describable, and honestly they performed live way better than I expected. If you look at videos of their live shows. I think I had the most enjoyable moment when they played (in no particular order): I Got Mine, Howlin' For You and a tie between Your Touch and Tighten' Up. When they came back on stage for the encore, a big giant disco ball came down from the ceiling and we had a mini disco party as they play Everlasting Light. When the song ended, the disco ball was taken away too. What I did not expect was the light sign that appeared when they played their last song I Got Mine, the sign said 'THE BLACK KEYS' and it lights up as Dan played the riffs of the song. It was, what's that word I keep using to describe the gig? Awesome.
Crowd, I thank you. At least those around me, they were all fun. Particularly everyone that was in the front row was incredibly energetic. The people around me however, not so much.

NOTABLE GIG-GOERS 
Hi two guys behind/next to me. Yeah you two, you guys do realized you talk really loud right? And you guys talk throughout the whole gig? Thank you though, some parts of your conversation was quite funny, it kept me entertained and at some moments I would look down at laugh to myself while eavesdropping on you two talking. I remember one guy said if they could go back in time and attend any gig, he said he wanted to go back to 1969 to see the Beatles' last rooftop gig. The other guy said something about 1995. Then they mentioned Arctic Monkeys. One guy particularly said he does not like the Wombats while the other one said "they're not that bad." My favorite part of their conversation would be when they were talking about Royal Headache.
Guy 1: ..............
Guy 2: ..............
Guy 1: ...............I quite like them
Guy 2: *stares at guy 1*
Guy 1: *stares at guy 2*
Guy 2: .............really?
And then both of them burst out laughing. I don't know it reminded me of AnCo going to gigs, it's something we would do. And my other favorite part is the fact that they knew how to sing along to every song the band played, and they made assumptions which songs they would play next. Natalie thought they were annoying, I agree with her, they remind me of a particular person that shall remain nameless that I used to go to high school with (Tuna would probably know who it is), but then again I secretly want to hang out with them too.

All the girls that were in the front and second row in front of me minus one of the girl's boyfriend, yeah not you, plus the girl that ended up jumping next to me during the Black Keys' encore. Y'all are awesome so energetic making the gig even more fun keep up the viba yall.

Anjing ngempet 2 guys and the girl in front of me why are y'all so dead during the whole gig for the exception when Officer Carney and Killer Dan played Lonely Boy? Geez, well I noticed the girl was, for most of the time took pictures and videos which was understandable. But the two guys she was with. Why? Just standing there. I'm sorry I keep bumping into you guy, well... No I'm not. Stop being such a buzzkill it makes me sad look at this emoticon :''''(

Well I guess that's about it.
Overall: 8.5/10

This gig is definitely going to my 'concert of the year' nomination list. Yeah I have little awards for concerts I go to okay and you're not invited because it's a private party (the party is basically me staying in my room laughing by myself thinking about the awards).

Peace, love and gaul y'all.

BOURNE LEGACY AUSTRALIAN PREMIERE 7 AUG '12

Not jumping to conclusion or anything but, I could not think of anything that personally went wrong today. Nothing. At all.
WARNING: This post will be a long post. I am writing it as soon as I got back from the premiere so, the adrenaline is still here.

I had won passes thanks to the lovely people from filmink magazine to go to the Australian premiere of The Bourne Legacy, also on the guest list is director Tony Gilroy and actor Jeremy Renner. Those who know me, would know about my renner obsession. I found out the news on Thursday, and by Monday the passes still have yet to arrived. I was pissed, it was night time and I wanted my passes. That is until my mom suddenly called me saying she got an email from UniLodge telling her that I had received a parcel and it was to be collected in the reception immediately, I jumped out of my seat and ran downstairs in my pajamas (she called me at 7:58pm and the reception closes at 8pm). I got down and they were closing down but the receptionist was nice enough to give me my parcel. What do you know, it was 2 passes to the premiere. I started squealing along the corridors of Unilodge. That night we also decided that lovely Natalie will accompany me to the premiere.

Woke up 12 hours before Renner took his first step onto the red carpet, I could not concentrate the whole day. Even in class I would just stare at the ceiling and start a conversation with my friends starting with the sentence "You know what day it is today? *creepy smile* IT'S FINALLY TUESDAY." I was so excited, I wanted to puke. Literally, my stomach was just not right and I did not eat anything the whole day. So my last class ended and I straight went to the city, Natalie and I have arranged to meet up at Dymocks because we just love books don't we. On my way there, I spot a couple of fans waiting near the entrance and recognized one of them as Carina (who I have been stalking the whole day to get some renner updates) and I started talking to her and her friends.

This is lovely Carina and behind is her friend Gino.

Suddenly I realized that the security guard that is guarding the entrance is the same security guard from school. So I picked up my friend, and went to say Hi to the security guard and what do you know, he recognized us. To cut the story short, I shall put the rest of the story in dot points.

• Waited for a while until they assigned us fans where to stand for the red carpet. At one point the security guard, Kevin, and his friend were talking about my friend and I as he was whispering something and dead on pointed at us. Why? The next point should explain why.
• This why Kevin is great, as they let the media people in first, Kevin told my friend and I both to come to him. We were of course confused, and turns out he got us one of the best spot. We thank you Kevin. We are very grateful.
• Carina and I started doing stretches as we wait for Tony Gilroy and Jeremy Renner to come by.
• Tony Gilroy got off from his black SUV, spoke to a couple of fans which luckily includes me too. Had a decent usual conversation with him such as "how are you?" or "how are you liking Sydney?" He noticed my pass and excitedly asked "You're going to watch the premiere?" I said yes and he looked ecstatic.
• approximately 20 minutes after Gilroy came by, everyone was wondering where Renner is. Suddenly everything went silent and the cars in the traffic were gone and WOOOSSHH sounds of motorcycle stunts were everywhere and TADA! Renner came in, in a motorcycle. Everyone cheered. A lot of us then shouted "LET'S STRETCH BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSS!" which he laughed. His publicist would later ask me "who shouted that?" I answered all of us did, she looked surprised and asked "oh you guys watched that?!" Oh yes we did.
• As he went pass through me and my friend, we got autographs and pictures however unlike the conversation with Gilroy, he had to move faster since more fans are eager to see him.
• THE HAWKWARD MOMENT I HAD WITH HIM AND HIS PUBLICIST SHALL BE KEPT AT THE END OF THE POST BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST AMUSING THING IN MY OPINION (usually my embarrassing moments are amusing to my friends).
• After meeting Renner, my friend and I decided to hurry and went into the theater since the seating is first come first serve. As we're walking, Kevin looked surprised because he didn't know we had passes. Kevin is amazing y'all.
• Walking and jumping and strutting down the red carpet like a bad ass mofo.
• The seats were quite full so we asked the usher who placed us in the first freakin row. We got first row seating.
• Renner and Gilroy came on stage for a while. Tony Gilroy recognized me and my friend from the crowd, I smiled at him and he smiled back from the stage. It was an awesome moment.
• As I haven't eaten all day, luckily Universal Pictures have given everyone in the premiere little boxes of snacks which consists of: peanuts, crackers, cheese and a macaroon. It was nice. Technically that was my whole meal for the day.
• I just love it when the crowd starts clapping at the end of the movie, which is what happened tonight.
• I know this is not related but ONE OF MY FAVORITE MUSICIAN FOLLOWS ME ON TWITTER AND IT BROUGHT UP MY MOOD EVEN MORE WHICH I DIDN'T THINK WAS POSSIBLE.

First legit premiere I've ever been to, and it was great. And all of it I have to thank you filmink. Photos I took with Tony Gilroy and Jeremy Renner are on facebook.

READY FOR THE HAWKWARD MOMENT STORY? HERE IT GOES.
After exchanging a few words with Renner. He slowly moved along, for some reason (this is me starstruck and the fact that my best friend, Tuna, control half of my mind) I stared at his arm. And then for some reason without thinking it through, these words came out of my mouth: "Can I poke your arm?"
After 5 seconds of my brain finally working, I mentally slap myself and thought 'WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY THAT THE FUCK CHRYS FUCK ICAN WUT FUCK THE HELL'
I quickly add, "Too weird isn't it? It is too weird." Him and his publicist both were laughing and said "Yeah maybe just a little bit."
HEY AT LEAST I DIDN'T POKE HIS NOSE LIKE I ORIGINALLY PLAN OK THAT WAS EVEN WEIRDER ugh what is wrong with you brain but it would make a funny story to tell the folks; the hawkward moment with the hawk.

The only regret I have is that I should have said something in Indonesian to him like I don't know on the top of my head "ANJING LO GANTENG BANGET BABI" or maybe something more subtle such as "PANTAT LO"
And so the Renner Sydney Invasion has come to an end, peace y'all x

✶☽THE ART OF FLIRTING☾✶

flirt |flərt|

verb

   1 [ intrans. ] behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions : it amused him to flirt with her.

• ( flirt with) experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously : a painter who had flirted briefly with Cubism.

• ( flirt with) deliberately expose oneself to (danger or difficulty) : the need of some individuals to flirt with death.

   2 [ trans. ] (of a bird) wave or open and shut (its wings or tail) with a quick flicking motion.

• [ intrans. ] move back and forth with a flicking or fluttering motion : the lark was flirting around the site.

I guess that's kind of cheesy isn't it? To put the definition of the intended topic in the beginning of the post but, it does help me. I've actually never tried to look up the word 'flirt' so, ah, now i know it's to wave or open and shut wings or tail with a quick flicking motion.... That was a bad joke.
In all seriousness, my knowledge on this specific... behaviour... is coming close to nil. I have to admit it's a problem, because anytime I actually fancy someone I would just be in, that's right, the friendzone. Or brozone or familyzone or some modern zoning terms they have these days.

I have been thinking about flirting for some time, maybe because it is interesting to show your affection towards a person without actually saying it out front. I always thought why don't people just be straightforward. Oh hey I want to fuck you. Oh you're cute we should really hang out and I see we have several things in common here's my number text me. Not that I have done any of those things, I have thought about them because well, I have no clue on what flirting is. Importantly, how do you differentiate if someone is flirting or if they are just nicer than other people? It's pretty common for a person to just be really nice and is not attracted to you in some sort of way, and it is also common for people to just be playful with no intention whatsoever, is that also called flirting?
One night I was hanging out in the courtyard with some friends, all I know have some experienced with these things of relationship and dating so I asked, "how do people flirt?" They all look at me like I am a person from another planet and continue to respond the question with a "what? why?" Of course they, or at least some of them thought I asked this because I had the intention to actually flirt with a particular person and find a boyfriend but no that was not the case, I was just very curious to what they had to say. Their answer was and I remember this clearly: "well you talk with the guy and laugh, make jokes, smile." I stare at them blankly and reply "........So like... Every. Other. Conversation?" Then they close the conversation by saying "Well you just know! The way they stare or maybe with the some gestures."
That didn't help me with understanding the concept of flirting at all. Nor how to identify if a person is flirting or just being plain nice. Make jokes, smile and laugh? That's pretty broad isn't? I would hate to be at one point think I am making a friend give the wrong impression. The stare? Like having them stare into your soul or some sh-t like that? Then again some people just stare really intensely to others.

So comes the embarrassing bit, my attempt to flirt. Aha ha haha ha. It's quite sad because, I actually did tried to flirt without having the knowledge on what flirting actually is. So I would say this flirting 'experiment' was a failure and he and I ended talking about sex. By that I mean in a way like a 12 year old boy that just founded what a penis and a vagina is.
Another story, my friend and I were in a sandwich shop. I ordered a sandwich. The guy who works there asked if I wanted a 12 inch or a 6 inch so, being the immature person I am, I burst out laughing and said "a 6 inch is fine, just 6. 6 inch." After my friend and I got our sandwiches, my friend said "dude you were totally flirting with the cashier guy!" And I was not. This got me even more confused. It's easy to say "Oh I was totally flirting with this guy" because you know you have the intention to attract the guy and you yourself would call it flirting but then what a third person would comment "dude... That was not flirting."Honestly, that's how my mind works. It is very very dirty, my mind is in the gutter it's just, very immature.
Another other story, I was in the supermarket and saw a quite attractive guy in a Holy Fuck t-shirt. So like any other internet-based kid I tweeted something along the line "someone's wearing a holy fuck tshirt quick how do you flirt" and the response I remember was to come up to the guy and say "nice t-shirt" which was actually pretty good, but... Then what? Of course I wouldn't have that kind of courage to just go up to a total random stranger and compliment them. So I'm guessing complimenting a stranger would be a form of flirting yes? But what if you're complimenting a friend? Let's say, a person you actually know, would that also be considered as flirting? I have been said to be "one of d4 guyzZzz" and I think it's because I laugh at the sexual immature jokes they usually make because I cannot deny it is funny but still what does THAT mean do I have to stop thinking like everything is sexual and pretend that every time someone says something sexual I would just say "OMG you're such a pervert that's gross!"?

So with that, I'm completely helpless with the art of flirting. I would much like someone to be my flirting guru so apply now on www.fuckigotnolifesoallidoiswriteastupidblogughimjustgonnahavesomepizzanow.com/flirtingguru and send in your CV to the email given. I am actually worried about my lack of knowledge in this particular area because honestly I feel very left behind by not knowing any of these while most of my friends seems to get a hang of it. Maybe it's the pressure of having this so called 'college life' or some sh-t.

P.S. most importantly, does asking if a guy gets morning wood or if they are a virgin or if they have a girlfriend or if they jerk off a form of flirting? If so, then....... hm..... Well anyway, I'll just go on and any time I try to flirt with a guy I'll just tell him the pacman story like the way Scott Pilgrim did. That or by saying this list of various pick up lines I have gathered thanks to television and the internet this afternoon:

1. are you my lawyer because i'm defenceless
2. your mouth says "shields up" but your eyes say "a hull breach is imminent"
3. i would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party
4. i think your clothes are made of kryptonite we've got to get rid of them immediately
5. i find your lack of nudity disturbing
6. resistance is futile
7. someone must have shot you with a phaser set on 'stunning'
8. you be the tree and i'll wrap you like a koala
9. hey i just met you and this is crazy well here's my bedroom let's fuck totally

ON A TOTALLY DIFFERENT NOTE THIS IS AN AWESOME SONG THAT I CANNOT STOP LISTENING SO LISTEN AND ENJOY Y'ALL PEACE LOVE AND G@0L.